Unplanned or unwanted pregnancy
What if you weren't looking for this pregnancy?
Discovering a pregnancy you weren't expecting can stir up many emotions at once.
Perhaps you feel fear, confusion, sadness, guilt or rejection. Perhaps one part of you wants to continue and another isn't sure. Or perhaps you simply need time, and a space where you can listen to yourself before making a decision.
You don't have to know right now how you should feel or what you should do.
In therapy you will find a safe, confidential space, free of judgement, where you can speak freely about what you are going through, without having to justify your emotions or feel that there is a "right" way to face this moment.
If this is how you feel:
- Conflicting emotions or ambivalence
- Fear, guilt, confusion or rejection
- Doubts about whether to continue the pregnancy
- Pressure from your partner, family or surroundings
- A need to talk without feeling judged
A space to listen to yourself
When an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy appears, it can be hard to tell what you truly want from the fear, the circumstances, the expectations and the opinions of the people around you.
Together we can explore:
- The emotions that are coming up.
- Your doubts and mixed feelings.
- Your fears about the different possibilities.
- Your personal, family or relationship circumstances.
- What you need right now.
- Your own values and what matters to you.
- Any pressure or expectations from the people around you.
The goal is not to get rid of doubt quickly, but to help you create a space where you can listen to yourself and connect with what you truly feel and need.
If you're trying to make a decision
If you are facing the decision of whether or not to continue with the pregnancy, my role as a psychologist is not to tell you what to do or to steer you towards a particular decision.
My role is to accompany you as you explore what you are feeling, understand what lies behind your fears and doubts, and tell your own voice apart from outside expectations, opinions or pressure.
So that, whatever you decide, you can feel you were able to make that decision in a conscious, informed way that is as much your own as possible.
There is room for ambivalence too
You can want something and not want it at the same time.
You can feel excitement and fear.
You can imagine a life where you continue with the pregnancy and, at the same time, imagine another where you decide not to.
Conflicting feelings don't necessarily mean something is wrong with you, or that you have already made a decision.
Sometimes ambivalence is also part of the process of understanding what you want.
I can support you if…
- You have just found out about a pregnancy you weren't expecting.
- You don't know whether you want to continue with the pregnancy.
- You feel conflicting emotions and find them hard to understand.
- You feel fear, guilt, confusion, rejection or a sense of being stuck.
- You worry you will regret the decision you make.
- You feel pressure from your partner, family or those around you.
- You need to talk about what you're going through without feeling judged.
- You want to connect with what you truly want before making a decision.
You don't have to decide everything alone
Sometimes we don't need someone to tell us what to do.
We need a place where we can say out loud what we may not dare to say anywhere else.
A space where we can cry, doubt, change our minds, be afraid and explore every possibility without feeling judged.
That can be our starting point.
Frequently asked questions about an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy
Do I need to have decided anything before asking for help?
No. You can come without anything being clear, even without knowing quite what you feel. Therapy is a space to listen to yourself, not somewhere to arrive with a decision already made. If you feel time is pressing, tell me in the assessment call and we'll work out how to organise things.
Will you tell me what I should do?
No. My role is not to steer you towards a particular decision, but to accompany you as you explore what you feel and tell your own voice apart from other people's pressure or expectations, so that whatever you decide, it is your own decision.
Can you support me whatever I decide?
Yes. I support you equally if you decide to continue with the pregnancy, if you decide not to, or if you still don't know, and without judging you. If you later need a space to process what you have been through, I can support you then too.
Does therapy replace medical information or care?
No. I work on the emotional side. For medical information or information about your options, your doctor, midwife or healthcare team are the ones who can guide you; in therapy I help you sort through what you feel in the meantime.
Is it confidential? Will my partner or family find out?
Sessions are confidential and protected by professional secrecy: what we talk about is not shared with anyone without your consent, except where the law requires it. You decide whether to share it and with whom.
You don't need to know what to do before asking for help.
Free assessment call
If you are going through an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy and feel you need a space to talk about what you are living, you can book a free 20-minute assessment call.
It will be a first space to get to know each other, for you to tell me briefly where you are right now, and for us to work out together how I can support you.